What I've Learned From Being Forced to Slow Down

Remember when I said sending a monthly newsletter was a stretch for me?

Well, what I didn't know at the time was that it was going to feel nearly impossible.

As I've been building my coaching business alongside a full-time job and trying to show up as a wife, mother, friend, colleague, leader, and daughter, I've also been battling a four-month-long bout of dry eye.

That probably doesn't sound all that awful, but it has been physically and mentally painful and exhausting. It has taken a toll on my mental health and my ability to show up for the people I care about, and even show up for myself in the way I want to. I already struggle with anxiety at baseline, and this experience amplified it significantly.

Simply put, I just haven't felt like myself.

Because I physically couldn't spend long hours staring at screens, I found myself slowing down. And somewhere in the middle of that, I found an unexpected gift.

I've been more present with my family.

I've leaned into hobbies that bring me joy, like baking sourdough and cooking more meals at home.

I've spent more time putting pen to paper instead of typing. In fact, I'm writing this in my journal right now and dictating it into my computer later.

I've also realized something important.

So many of the things I stress about—work, productivity, keeping the house perfectly clean, responding to every email, checking every box—suddenly seemed far less important.

Not because they don't matter.

But because they aren't what matter most.

I've come to realize that I've been chasing a version of life that I define as "perfect" while overlooking the life I'm already grateful for. I am blessed in so many ways. 

Life is happening right in front of me, and too often I've been focused on what's next.

The next goal.

The next accomplishment.

The next milestone.

The next thing I'll finally be happy about once I get there.

And in doing so, I've been missing some of the moments happening right now.

Truthfully, I sometimes wonder if this whole experience was my body's way of forcing me to slow down. As if it finally said:

"If you won't stop and appreciate what's right in front of you, I'm going to make you."

While I absolutely believe it's important to work toward the future you want, I also think it's important to enjoy the life you're living while you're building it.

I've been using an analogy lately that has helped me make sense of all this.

I've already planted the seeds for my future.

I'll continue to water them when I can.

Eventually, they'll grow.

But I can't keep digging them up, overwatering them, staring at them, and willing them to grow faster.

Wildflowers don't grow because someone obsessively watches them. They grow because nature gives them what they need over time. Through droughts, snow, wildfire, heavy rain, deep freezes, and scorching heat, they continue to grow in their own season.

I'd like to think the same is true for us.

The seeds I've planted will grow.

The seeds you've planted will grow.

Maybe not on our timeline, but in their own time.

I have faith in that.

I'm incredibly grateful for the people in my life who have encouraged me to slow down, feel my emotions, and listen to what they're trying to tell me. It doesn't make the emotions go away, but understanding them can help us course-correct and move forward with greater intention. You don't have to hustle constantly to create change in your life. 

If this resonated with you, share it with someone you know. Chances are, someone in your life needs the reminder that growth doesn't always come from doing more.

Sometimes it comes from slowing down enough to appreciate what is already here, right in front of us.

The photo with this post are some wildflowers my son & I picked on our hike today.